I often write about how wonderful parenthood is... It is. It's just also accompanied by many hard, hard moments. Moments that sometimes I don't know if I'll make it through.
Our first cold and flu season up here in Oregon has hit our family hard. Not sure why, but it has. These past three weeks have offered us sick kids three times over with colds and the stomach flu... and has offered me the opportunity to fall apart a few times ;)
When both our kids are sick, my friend Rhiannon said it best, "it feels like we have 3 Harpers and 3 Bentleys". Both need to be held and snuggled, both have a hard time eating and functioning, and both can't sleep at night.
I decided to write about these things so that maybe when Harper's a mommy she'll know it's normal and ok to want to lose it sometimes; and maybe Bentley can tell his wife someday that she's not a bad mommy if she sometimes sits up crying at night with the baby.
I do... I did last night... and I love my kids even more.
OH Audi, I know! Over the past 6 days I've gotten a total of 8 houts of sleep - sick & teething babies, crazy work hours... I broke dowm myself last night. But the funny thing was I was actually praying to God, not just for more sleep, but thanking him for his blessings, for being able yo take care of my kids & be there for them when they're sick. I think when I reflect back, I think of the part where I get to snuggle with my girls, hold & comfort them. I was amazed at what my heart was truely thankful for, despite the tears & the feeling of just wanting to give up. But when my girls look me in the eyes, smile & say "I love you mommy" nothing else matters. We are so very blessed. Here's to healing, health & above all strength!
ReplyDeleteErin Collins
Wow Erin! Such beautiful words... you are SO right. Our babies are blessings like none other! It is so very easy to only think of the here and now and the tiredness we feel. I often find myself praying for more sleep ;) I am so thankful that I am the one to care for them too... and I will count my blessings more often - thank you. Much love to you, your hubby and your girls!
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