Reflection

Every so I often I do this... I reflect on where we've come from and look forward to where God may want to take us.

As many know, our family is in San Diego for the month of October due to Jeremy's work. So far, it's been a wonderful treat to stay in a house in our old neighborhood, go to the old parks and on old walk routes with the kids, and most importantly see treasured friends.

It's a treat... but yet weird. Weird to walk around a place that is so familiar you could navigate the streets with your eyes closed, but now it's a place where your life no longer belongs. We used to be active participants in this community and now we are merely observers. I'm not down trodden or being negative. It's ok. God has us in Oregon, with our families right now. It's just an odd feeling.

Jeremy and I knew that God was calling us to move to Portland. We didn't know exactly why, but we responded. For a while, we prayed for clarity as to why God wanted us up in the NW. I mean, it wasn't like we left anything bad in San Diego. In fact, things had really come together for us in our last year in San Diego as far as church, community, and spiritual growth. We were pretty settled, happy and content.

But this is where I've seen one of God's biggest answers.

Jeremy and I have grown and learned so much in this past year. Things we might not have if we would have stayed in that "settled, happy, content" place. We have been out of our comfort zone, felt like foreigners, and often felt like giving up on going God's way. We have succeeded in learning some things, and failed miserably in learning others. Change and transition is hard and it takes time. I feel like I sort of (please note the bold and italics!) understand why military life would be so hard. Jeremy has travelled a lot this year so I've seen that doing the mom-thing alone is stretching; and I cannot imagine doing the moving-thing over and over again. God bless those families. But who am I to say "no" to moving again? My heart would go anywhere in order for my husband to fulfill his dreams and, of course, go if God wanted us to go again.

God has been incredibly faithful to sustain us, comfort us and guide us everyday - even when we've been at less than our best. He has blessed our time and our relationships with our families. Our families know and love our kids, and don't merely here about them over the phone. He has brought friends who have been God-sends to us. Miraculously, He has been slowly showing me how the rain can be beautiful. Most importantly, He has challenged us both to take very seriously our growth in our relationship with him. Which means we are actually reading our Bibles ;) and constantly grappling with how we are to actually live-out this Jesus-thing every moment. We mess up constantly but, we are thankful, He is changing us.

Jeremy and I have also been reminded over and over and over again that God does not owe us an explanation as to why He asks us to do certain things. The important thing is for us to seek and obey Him. That's been a hard one to learn... and we are still learning.

I miss San Diego and everything it has brought to our family. I miss our friends desperately... I miss feeling comfortable. But even though I feel and think these things... I am acutely aware and ever thankful that God is loving us, working in our lives and holding our hands through the process. Thank you Jesus.